


Stupid Thing Last Night: The Video Tape Edition

by clairza



Series: Stupid Thing Last Night: The Inadvertent Series [2]
Category: Battlestar Galactica (2003)
Genre: Academy Fic, F/M, voyerism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-30
Updated: 2015-06-30
Packaged: 2018-04-06 22:48:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4239585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clairza/pseuds/clairza
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Tex," Helo says, using someone's beer bottle as a pretend microphone, "Are these two still the most spectacularly repressed couple of the year?"</p><p>"Without a doubt."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stupid Thing Last Night: The Video Tape Edition

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted 5/1/2007
> 
> Sorry not sorry. ;)

It's right down the bottom, under a stack of magazines Hover and Hotdog start fighting over, and the tape makes a sharp click as it hits the metal floor. 

Meg picks it up, turns it over, and reads the title. Starbuck + Apollo are scrawled in hasty letters, and then a date. Four and a half years ago. She smiles; the first smile since they'd started cleaning out Helo's locker. 

Sharon notices her silence from where she's folding Helo's clothes carefully and putting them in a box, and nudges her with an elbow. "Hey, you okay?" 

Meg tilts the title towards the girl in answer, and Sharon's eyes go wide. "Oh, you have got to be kidding me." 

"What is it? Racetrack?"

She passes the tape over to Hover, and Kat and Hotdog sneak out of their racks to read over his shoulder. Meg watches their faces change to something bordering on reverence as they read the letters. 

There is a long, long pause.

"How long are Starbuck and Apollo in that meeting for?" Hover says quietly, and Sharon smirks.

"Long enough."

*

They end up in the Ready Room, because it's the only place with the right sort of player for Helo's tape. The five of them spread out in the front row and on the floor; Meg and Sharon in chairs, Kat, Hover and Hotdog lying at their feet. 

They are ten minutes of jerky hand held motion in before they see anything of interest. Meg recognises the bar straight away – it had been one just fading in popularity when she went through the Academy, and she'd only been there once or twice. Onscreen, it's packed and pumping with sound and laughter and pilots, pilots everywhere, and she can almost smell the ambrosia and beer and cigarette smoke. 

She lets her eyes pan over the screen; high definition film, thank the gods, and then she catches sight of someone who looks familiar. Sharon stiffens beside her. 

"Oh my god," Kat says. "That's her. That's Starbuck."

"What? Where?" Hotdog sits up, and Sharon plants her foot in his back. 

"Stay down," she says. "You're blocking my view." 

Kat's pointing for Hover, but it's not needed because the shadowy figure in the corner puts her shot glass down on the bar, and saunters in the direction of the camera. Blonde hair, jeans that cling in all the right places, tanks and tags; the quintessential Viper jock out on the town. 

"Hey, Starbuck!" the person behind the camera calls. "You coming over here?" 

Starbuck changes direction slightly, and comes to a stop just short of the vidcam. "What are you doing with that thing, Tex?" she drawls, hands in her back pockets, her drinking companion trailing awkwardly behind her. 

"Vid for Mike," Tex answers from behind the camera. "He's out for the rest of the year. Knee reconstruction."

"Oh, that sucks," Starbuck says, and she looks genuinely sympathetic. "We miss you, Mike!" she says to the camera. "Watching Tex get hammered just isn't the same without you."

"That's sweet, Buck."

"I try."

"He'll treasure those words forever."

"Is there someone else you could be talking to right now?"

"Sure," Tex says, and then the camera pans down over her body, slow and deliberate. "But he'll appreciate this so much more."

Starbuck rolls her eyes. "Smooth."

"Yeah, I know."

"Hey, can you get me another ambrosia?" she says, with an incongruously sweet smile to the young kid beside her. He nods, far too quickly to be cool, and Meg laughs. 

"Poor kid," she says. 

"Aw, he has such a crush," Hotdog says gleefully, from where he's sprawled in front of Sharon. "He looks barely legal!" 

"He reminds me of someone," Kat says, sitting up. "Oh! That's right. Hotdog." 

"Your crush is just as bad, Katraine," Hover says lazily, and Hotdog and Sharon snort with laughter. Kat flushes a little and lies back down, and Meg admires the red of the girl's cheeks before snapping her gaze back to the screen, where the kid is walking towards the bar. 

"Your frak of the week, Buck?" Tex sounds amused, and Starbuck laughs as the camera swings back to her. 

"Wells? Not even close," she says. "He makes a cute slave though, don't you think?" 

"You are such a bitch."

"Yeah, but you love it." Her gaze turns speculative. "I think I'll just – " She breaks off, looking left past the camera, and then her face breaks into a large grin. "Sorry, Tex," she says. "Rescue mission. I'll be back."

She brushes past Tex, and the camera turns so fast that Meg feels dizzy for a second, and then refocuses on Starbuck as she pushes her way onto the crowded dance floor. She reaches out, grabs the shoulder of a guy and swings him round to face her. 

"Oh my gods," Sharon says. "This is the best thing ever."

It's Apollo, and his look is clearly one of relief as Starbuck drapes her arms around his neck in an overtly feminine fashion. The girl who was dancing with him starts to protest, and Apollo tries to look apologetic and mostly fails, as Starbuck seems to snuggle into him, the adoring smile on her face so patently false that Meg giggles. 

"I thought they weren't together." The camera jerks back to Wells, who is holding a glass of ambrosia and looking mournful. 

"They aren't." 

"But – "

"Diversionary tactics," Tex says. "Just watch."

The minute the girl is out of sight, Starbuck pulls herself out of Apollo's arms. They're too far away to hear, but Meg lip-reads Apollo's "thank you" and Starbuck's answering, "you owe me." 

"He's hot," Kat says, and there's a ripple of laughter through the room. 

"You only just worked that out, Kat?" Sharon drawls, and Kat turns around. 

"No, I knew that, but - " She gestures towards the screen, and Meg knows what she means. 

Apollo's dressed identically to Starbuck – jeans that fit just right, hanging on his hips; boots, tags and tanks darkened by sweat. He's clean-shaven, but his hair is a little longer, scruffier, and he's moving to the music with a casual sensuality that Meg wouldn't have expected from him. He looks relaxed, carefree, far away from the uptight CAG she knows and she suddenly understands what Starbuck sees in him. 

His hands flick over Starbuck's hips, and Starbuck arches a little and shamelessly checks out the guy next to her, much to Apollo's amusement before she pivots back and moves a little closer to Apollo, one hand lightly resting on his chest. There's a comfortable undertone of possession in their body language. 

They are really very pretty together, Meg thinks, and clearly Tex agrees because the camera is still on them, and has been for minutes. 

"You know, you can show something else," an annoyed female voice says, close to the camera. "There are other people in the world." 

"Sorry, Elise," Tex says apologetically, and the camera jerks away. 

"Oh, that sucks," Kat says, arms hooked around her knees. "Fast forward!" 

Hover obliges, and the five of them watch the jumble of images race past, scanning for any sign of the two pilots. An hour of tape goes, then a little more, then - 

"Hey, stop," Sharon orders, and Hover freezes the screen. 

"I can't see them."

"No – not them – look."

She points. 

It's a younger Karl Agathon shrugging his coat off at the door. His hair the same length, smile the same, bright and alive and laughing in the dimness of the bar, and Meg feels a wave of sadness. Everyone in the bar other than Starbuck and Apollo are dead now, dead and gone with the rest of the Colonies. Meg doesn't know if the enormity of the loss will ever hit her properly. 

Sharon seems to shiver a little, fold in on herself, and Meg leans over and rubs her arm. 

"It's okay," Sharon says, and shrugs. "We should have known he'd be in this."

"At least we know he would have wanted us to watch this," Hover says, and Sharon laughs. 

"That's so true."

Helo seems to know Tex, because he makes a beeline for the camera. Tex turns a fraction, and Kat lets out a happy sigh because Apollo and Starbuck are just visible at the bar, slamming two shots back.

"Hey. Starbuck! Apollo!" Helo calls, and both of them look up and across, Apollo laughing as Starbuck wipes her chin. "Over here." 

The two pilots shove their glasses towards the bartender, and then make their way over the camera. Both Kat and Hotdog are sitting up, leaning forward, Meg notes with amusement. Kat looks like she's barely breathing. 

When they get close enough to be in focus, Helo lines them up. "Smile for the camera, Buck." 

"I've already done this," Starbuck says, and none of them miss the way she has her hand on Apollo's arm for balance. 

"They are so drunk." Sharon seems to shake her head in disbelief. 

"So drunk," Hover repeats, sounding awed. "What did they have in the last hour?" 

"Tex ," Helo says, using someone's beer bottle as a pretend microphone, "Are these two still the most spectacularly repressed couple of the year?"

"Without a doubt."

"Good to know nothing has changed," Meg murmurs, and Sharon grins.

"You're not kidding." 

Onscreen, Apollo is swaying ever so slightly. "I disagree," he declares. 

"Yes. Because that would imply that we actually want to frak each other," Starbuck says, and then her lip curls in a dramatic fashion. "Why would I want to do that?" 

"I can think of a few reasons," someone off screen mumbles, and the camera shakes a little, like Tex is laughing. 

"Kara. What's wrong with Apollo?" Helo asks, and Apollo smirks. 

"Yes, Starbuck. Tell me why I don't match up with your clearly discerning taste," Apollo says, his eyes flicking over to Wells and back. 

"Oh, Apollo. You wouldn't be man enough for me."

"If the rumours are true, you'd probably be man enough for the both of us." 

"Oooh," the crowd murmurs. The two pilots are in each other's space now, and the cut of their words is belied by the way Starbuck's eyes are dancing, and the faintest hint of a smirk around Apollo's mouth. 

Starbuck steps in a little closer. 

"I didn't think you were the type to listen to rumours, Cadet Adama. You always seem so – straight laced." She drags her fingertips up his chest, and Apollo's eyes narrow. 

"You sound like you've thought about it."

"In your dreams, maybe I have."

"You think I dream about you, Starbuck? That's so sweet. No, really, whatever keeps you warm at night."

"When are you two going to stop the endless eye-frakking and just do it?" Tex says, sounding exasperated. "Seriously."

"For what? The entertainment of you fine people?" 

"Think of Mike," Tex says. "Stuck at home – "

"No entertainment," Helo chimes in. "Alone. Miserable. Broken knee." 

"Just one kiss. One kiss. That's all he'd want." 

Starbuck rolls her eyes. "Not without a lot with monetary benefit." 

"That can be arranged," Helo says promptly. "All in favour?" 

There's a flurry of movement – wallets opening, pilots digging change out of their pockets, and then Helo is whipping a hat around. Tex does a slow pan around of the sizable group, and finishes back with the two pilots. Starbuck's face has frak written all over it. Apollo just looks amused. 

"Did you plan this?" he asks. 

"Me?" Tex says, and Meg can hear the smirk in his voice. Starbuck glares. 

"Lee," she says, with very careful pronunciation. "Tell them this is insane and I'm not kissing you." 

"Tell them yourself."

"You're the golden boy. It'll sound better coming from you." 

Apollo laughs. 

"Seriously," Starbuck says, her hands on his arm. Helo's counting the cubits now. "You should stop them." 

"Too scared?"

"Scared of you, Apollo?" 

"Two hundred and sixty-three cubits," Helo announces. 

Kat jerks upright. "Shit," she says, into the hush, and even the two pilots onscreen look slightly stunned. 

"Are you kidding?" Apollo says, in seeming disbelief. 

"That's one hundred and thirty each," Helo chips in helpfully. "With one left over." 

"Thank you for that mathematical breakdown," Apollo says dryly, but his eyes are on Starbuck. Starbuck stares back. 

Kat seems to bounce a little. "This is frakking awesome."

"Shut up!"

Onscreen Starbuck and Apollo are still just looking at each other, and then something flickers over Apollo's face. 

"So why don't we?"

"Why don't we what?" Starbuck says, and then she laughs, and Meg thinks it sounds just a little panicked. "You lose at a few triad games, Apollo? I didn't realise you were that hard up." 

Apollo moves a little closer. "You sound like you're scared." 

Starbuck bites her lip. She looks so much younger, Meg thinks suddenly.

"One hundred and thirty cubits," Apollo says, and Meg realises that he wants this, he wants this badly and she wonders if that's changed. She doesn't think so. 

Starbuck's lip is still caught between her teeth.

"Fine. But I get the cubit left over," Starbuck says finally, as her hands rise to Apollo's chest. 

"Shut up, Kara," he says, and his arms wrap loosely around her waist and he tilts his head and she rises slightly on her toes and the crowd around them are counting down and it seems to take an age, the way her head angles to meet his, the slow dip of his mouth towards hers. 

Then they seem to click together; Starbuck's chest seems to deflate, like she's sighing, and Apollo's hands tighten on her back as the pilots around them cheer. Starbuck's hands rise to his hair, pulling his mouth closer closer closer and the camera moves to a better angle, just in time to see their mouths separate slightly, a flick of tongues, and Hotdog shifts in his seat. 

"Frak," he says, and Kat elbows him. 

"Shhh!"

A little while later, every pilot is leaning forward, and the cheering in the bar is even louder. 

"Holy frak," Hover breathes. "This is worth its weight in gold." 

"Best money I ever spent," someone near the camera says. Apollo has Starbuck up against a wall now, and Meg's breath hitches as Apollo jerks Starbuck's thigh up and Starbuck seems to shiver before rocking her hips into his. There's a second where they pull their mouths away from each other, noses bumping, and stare and Meg thinks she sees something deeper than lust on both their faces. Then Starbuck licks her lips and Apollo's eyes narrow and then they are kissing again, only this time it's just – more. 

By the time Apollo's got his mouth open against Starbuck's throat, Meg's starting to feel just a little hot and bothered, and when Starbuck arches her head back and bites off a Lee on the end of one breath, Meg shifts in her seat and worries her lip between her teeth. It's practically porn. Good porn, too, and she knows these people, which is just wrong. 

Starbuck's hands brace on Apollo's shoulders and she somehow pushes herself up and her legs wrap around Apollo's hips and he pushes her back into the wall, and it seems like they are totally unaware of a crowd cheering and of money changing hands; totally unaware of anything other than each other and it's only clothes that are stopping them from actually frakking in a bar. In public. And then even that changes because Apollo's hands slip under Starbuck's tanks, fingers rising under the fabric and Meg has to look away for a second, heat blooming over her neck and down her spine and everywhere. It's been longer than she likes to think since someone touched her like that, desperate for the feel of her skin. 

"Frak," Hotdog says, his voice full of awe, and leans even closer. Even Kat is too engrossed to shut him up, and Starbuck's grip seems to be getting even tighter when the hatch clangs behind them. 

"Frak," Hover echoes violently and lunges for the remote. Starbuck and Apollo – the real versions - are standing there and the sound abruptly cuts out, and when Meg looks back at the screen the tape has frozen on a moment where Starbuck's legs are still tight around Apollo's hips, her fingers digging into his shoulders and his hand is high against her torso, mouth still on her neck. Meg can feel herself blushing. 

Awkward.

Starbuck's looking torn between pissed off and amused. Apollo looks like someone just hit him hard in the solar plexus. Hover hits some buttons and the screen goes black. 

"Okay," Starbuck says, moving forward with surprising swiftness, given her knee is still in a brace. "You've all had your fun. Out." 

"But – " Kat starts and then cuts herself off at the look on Starbuck's face. 

Wise girl, Margaret thinks. 

"Out," Starbuck repeats, when none of them have moved. "Or the CAG will make it an order." 

They get to their feet slowly, and Kat looks between the two of them so pointedly that Apollo shifts and something Meg would almost call a blush is rising on Starbuck's neck. Hover hits eject on the tape, and is reaching for it when Apollo cuts him off. 

"You can leave the tape," the CAG says. "I'm feeling generous. Now go."

Starbuck angles her head towards the door, and they get the message. 

"Have fun," Sharon says, smirking, and the look on Starbuck's face makes Meg want to laugh so much that she can't hold it in, and has to push past Hover to get out the frakking hatch before she loses it completely. 

The minute they are all outside the hatch slams shut behind them. Kat tries to lean up against it, to hear anything of what's going on inside and Meg laughs before pulling on her arm. 

"You want to be caught out here when the CAG's not feeling so forgiving?"

"You have a point," Hotdog says, and starts almost jogging down the corridor, and Kat seems to find that hilarious as well. 

*

They end up getting two corridors away before Kat stops walking and bends over, holding her side. "Oh my gods," she says, through great gulps for air. "I can never look at him the same way again." 

Hotdog is leaning against the wall, and from what Meg can tell, seems to be thoroughly disgruntled. 

"Did you see the way he – " Kat motions towards her tank, and Hotdog pushes off the wall. 

"Yeah, yeah, we all saw it."

"So hot. Who knew Apollo had it in him? I mean, Starbuck's not a surprise, but the CAG - " 

"You just want in the CAG's pants," Hotdog says. "Or is it Starbuck's?" and Kat laughs. 

"Don't be jealous," she says, and slings an arm around his shoulder. "I'm sure we can find someone on the ship willing to frak you." 

Hover snorts. "Yeah, maybe in maintenance," he says, following them down the hall. "You guys coming?" 

"Yeah," Meg says.

Sharon's looking back down the corridor. 

"What's up?"

"She barely mentioned him," Sharon says, and Meg recognises the light in her eyes – best friend betrayed, and she doesn't envy Starbuck in the slightest. "Gods, is she ever going to get it tomorrow morning." 

"You think they're doing it?"

"In there?"

Meg's mind happily conjures up the swift mental image of Apollo pressing Starbuck up against the wall of the ready room, yanking at her tanks, mouth against her neck, shoulder - and then Meg shakes her head to clear it. Gods, she thinks to herself. Get it together, Margaret. "No," she says, after a pause, "I mean. In general."

"Oh," Sharon says. "No. Well, not since he's been on Galactica." She smiles. "I would have known about it."

"Ah."

They follow the others, and Meg smiles as Kat turns around and says something mocking to Hover, and then pretends to hide behind Hotdog, who promptly skips out of the way. There's something about Kat that is magnetic, she thinks – not quite like Starbuck, but still - 

"We never saw how it ended." Sharon's voice breaks into her thoughts, and Meg flushes. 

"What?" 

Sharon sounds almost petulant. "The end. We don't know what happened." 

"You could always ask one of them."

Sharon's eyes light up. "True!" she says, and almost skips in her step. "I wonder what they're doing in there now?"

Meg pulls her arm and keeps her walking in the far safer direction of the bunkroom. "I do not want to know," she says. She's lying, but Sharon is skipping beside her and doesn't notice.

When they catch up to the others, Kat has finally stopped laughing. 

“Two hundred and sixty three cubits,” Hotdog is saying, still sounding awe-struck. “Can you believe they made that much?”

“Can’t you?” Kat says. “Have you seen the way they look at each other?”

“I miss him, you know,” Sharon interrupts softly. “Helo. He would have loved that.”

Kat’s face falls a little. “I wish I’d known him,” she says, and puts her hand lightly on Meg’s arm. “He sounds like fun.”

“He was.”

“Let us take heart,” Hover says, slinging an arm around Sharon's shoulder. “And carry on in his memory.” He turns out his pockets. “I have – all of four cubits.”

“Excellent,” Meg says, dryly. “Two hundred and fifty-nine to go.”

“Hey, it’s possible.”

Meg laughs. She misses Helo more than ever, if only because he's not going to be there tomorrow when Starbuck and Apollo are carefully not looking at each other, but life goes on and Kat’s hand is warm on her arm. Besides, she thinks, the Academy taught her that it was always easier to get through hard times with something to focus on, and she has a feeling Starbuck and Apollo are going to provide that for a while. 

And that, she knows, is exactly what Helo would have wanted.

*


End file.
